This guest post is written by our friend and sex educator Lucas!
“How do I make him come faster?”
“How do I get her off?”
“How do I fulfill this fantasy with my partner?”
We get a lot of questions like this here at The Pleasure Chest, and while we are a collective of extremely knowledgeable sex educators, that doesn’t make these questions easy for us to answer. Sure, we could tell you everything you need to know about a toy, because toys are consistent. One Fun Factory Stronic we sold today works just like the one we sold two weeks ago. Bodies are not like that. Bodies all work in their own unique way, and that’s what makes them so damn sexy and beautiful. But that’s also what makes it difficult for us to answer questions about individual persons that we have most likely never met before.
But don’t walk away yet! I still have one sex tip for you. An all-encompassing one. Watch out now…it might blow your mind…
It’s three letters.
It starts with an A.
The second letter is S.
ASK!
You thought I was going to say ASS, didn’t you? Nope. While we love butts, they aren’t the answer to everything. Yet.
But yes, it’s true. Asking your partner what they want is the best way to become a better lover. We don’t know how their hot, sexy, special snowflake body gets turned on. But guess what…they do! Withholding words in the bedroom doesn’t do anybody any favors. If you can’t tell if they’re enjoying something…or if they want you to do something else…just ask them. It shows you care, and it spares you a lot of mental strain.
On the flip side, you can help your partner be a better lover as well. If there’s something that you want but you aren’t getting, speak up. Politely, of course. Whether it’s a new partner, or someone you’ve been with for a while, they might not realize you like something unless you express it for them articulately. It may seem awkward in the beginning, but the more you talk about sex, the more comfortable you’ll feel talking about sex…and the better sex you’ll have.
No matter what you’ve seen in the movies, read in the magazines, or heard through the grapevine, open communication really is the secret to the most satisfying sex. Share your desires with your partners, ask them about theirs, and get some hot, steamy conversation going on up in that bedroom of yours.
Lucas Brooks is a New York-based writer, performance artist, and sex educator. His blog “The Intellectual Homosexual” (formerly “Top to Bottom”) has been named one of the top 100 sex blogs in the world by four different websites and magazines. He has spent the last three years touring the continent with his one-man shows “VGL 5’4″ Top” and “Cootie Catcher”, the former of which was named “Best LGBT Show” in the Orlando Fringe Festival in 2014. As a sex educator, he has presented at Dark Odyssey events and Catalyst Con, and is currently on staff at The Pleasure Chest.
Website: intellectualhomosexual.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/intellectual.h0m0
Twitter: @IntellectHomo
Instagram: intellectualhomosexual
Tumblr: theintellectualhomosexual.tumblr.com
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